pregnant.

yep! that's right. i am pregnant. andrew and i were shocked to see that word pop up after i took a pregnancy test but we're really excited! (and terrified, and elated, and anxious, and happy, and just.. complex)

anyway.. i am about 3 months now. this little person will be making an appearance on or around March 5th next year. :)

i am really excited. it was kind of a surprise that we got pregnant so quickly but it's definitely meant to be! i didn't think about ALL of the responsibility when i was looking through the fog of want and excitement when andrew and i talked about getting pregnant.. but now that i actually AM pregnant, all of that responsibility is making itself VERY clear to me! the other night i just sobbed and sobbed to andrew about:

"how am I gonna be a mom?!"

"i'm too young for this!" 

"i barely cook as it is, how am i gonna make breakfast lunch and dinner for my KIDS?!" 

(after this one andrew kindly reminded me that its only one child and that he/she is not going to be eating solid food for a while.. :) 

anyway.. i am growing a person. i didn't expect how difficult it would be. i mean.. i cry alllll the time. and if you get me started on laughing.. i don't stop for like thirty minutes. my hormones are just CRAZY. i throw up at least once a day (which means i have a lower chance of miscarriage or having a still birth or premie:). for some reason i feel the need to clean everything and organize my closet, but i am exhausted alllll of the time.

BUT. 

it is so worth it.

at our first appointment the baby was moving around and just dancing. i know he/she is just as excited to see us as we are to see him/her. we could see their little arm reaching up to their face and their torso wiggling. it was just amazing to see the life that is growing inside me, even though i can't feel it yet. i can't wait to change diapers and give sponge baths and just watch this little person grow up. it's not completely real to me yet that my growing belly will be a person at some point, but it's getting more and more real every day!

and i couldn't be more excited for andrew to be a father. he is so kind, and funny, and just so perfect it hurts my heart to love him so much.

i'm so glad that i married him. :)